Do You Have to be Perfect to Adopt?

19th Jun 2013

Do you have to be perfect to adopt?

The answer is a resounding – NO! Who is perfect anyway?

I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately as we go through the adoption process – meeting people who have already adopted, telling others we hope to adopt, talking to expectant parents who may want to place their baby for adoption and in thinking about how to reach the expectant parent(s) who would like us to adopt their child.

In some ways there’s a temptation to feel like you need to present the “perfect” you when you are having a homestudy done and making a profile book/website. You want people to know that you are great and you will make a great family for their child. You also see all these other profiles out there of people who seem perfect – they seem to have huge houses, or live in fancy places, travel all the time, have the most interesting hobbies, work at jobs where they make millions of dollars – ok I’m exaggerating here but you get what I mean. This can make it feel like maybe your skills, talents and interests and life just isn’t up to par. But the important thing to remember is that this isn’t true.

No one is perfect. We all have our bad days and our cranky moments. Even if outwardly things look perfect on paper hard times in life can happen. Hopefully we have support through these difficult times and when there are times that we’ve been the one to make a mistake we can look back and think “well there’s always next time when I can try again!”

And maybe there’s actually value in that imperfection. For a child it would be awfully hard to grow up thinking that they couldn’t make a mistake and that their parents never did either. We know that there will be bumps in the road for us as parents – that we will mess up and that our child will too – and that’s ok. We want to be able to support him or her in their lifelong learning process and to let them know that they are loved no matter what. That we are here to help. That we want them to try their best but that perfection doesn’t have to be the goal. That we understand (or are trying our best to).

We do have a lot in life to be happy about – but are we perfect? No way! And that’s ok with us!

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